Why You Don't Have Friends?


Being independent is never a bad thing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing your own thing, taking yourself on dinner dates or catching a movie by yourself. Although it's okay to be by yourself, at times, we do seek human connections. The feeling of fitting in can cause us to hesitate to establish those social connections. I am sure that everyone has had the thought at some point in their life like they don't fit in. 


Our society has molded into a social society. We are all connected by a simple tap of a button via social media. Social media is a world of perfection. It is a constant reminder that people are outliving more of social life. While your phone may be dry and cold from the lack of use and not one person has liked your page or post. This only is just the digital word. There is still your office or school life. You may feel like the outcast.

Your Friends Are Changing

Growing up, it was always so easy to make friends. You wholeheartedly knew that your "best friend" was going to be your "best friend" for life. If you are still friends with your childhood best friend than KUDOS to you and congratulations on long-lasting friendship. Just know that it is widespread for people to drift apart. 

Not to say that drama had to happen. It could be several reasons for the drift. Moving away, marriage, you/them have grown and changed as a person, so your lifestyles don't align anymore. It's okay if your old friends are drifting. This means that you are on the market for new friends that match your lifestyle.

You aren't Opening up

Sincere friendship is supposed to be a 2-way street. They give a little, and you must provide a little as well. You must open and reveal a bit about yourself. If your anything like me, this could be tricky for a quiet/shy person. Being closed off makes making new friends a lot more complicated. The easiest way to overcome this obstacle and still engage with others; ask questions. Ask questions about themselves and their life, and then actively listen to their response. Engage with reactions. Don't offer a story of your own or try to one-up them. You don't have to change who you are or pretend to be something you aren't. It's only about being more open with others. Remember a little can go along way.

Are You Trying?

 If you're always waiting around for people to come to you, you may not be trying hard enough. Try switching it up a little, take it upon yourself to move things along strike up a conversation with a random person. Girls LOVE compliments. This makes things so much easier to break the ice and overcome the awkwardness. Also, try getting out of your comfort zone. Try joining different clubs and attend various events. Even if you would rather stay at home cut back on the fake excuses and visit a couple of them.

Other's Opinion on you doesn't matter

 To "fit in" you must own your uniqueness. Pretending to be someone you're not will leave you with shallow friends. Accept the fact that you are different. The more you embrace who you are, the more likely you will attract similar people. One thing you will release is that the most confident person still has there own insecurities. The key is to stand in your truth and be satisfied with the person you are. 

Conclusion. In a world where everyone is trying to "fit in," it's okay to be yourself and stand out. It just means you are made for something greater. It's okay if you aren't the type to party and club every week. Don't allow anyone to make you feel bad about it. I promise you aren't missing out on anything. If at any point, you feel empty. Take a break from social media and fill that void with gaining knowledge about your passion or interest. Always remember there is power in being alone.

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  • Dejavunaturals ~stabs on

    Amazing msg! Great advice!

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  • Jannetta on

    I love this!! Such wise words… and OMG you have a book! That is amazing. We definitely need to catch up. 😘

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